I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
