I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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