Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
