I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
