i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
