Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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