Well apparently he's into motor boating.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
