The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
