it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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