i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
