Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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