I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
