According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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