Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she told me i tasted like america
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
