1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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