I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
