So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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