Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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