you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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