Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
