we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
