i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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