Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
