Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
