Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im holly from the hills drunk
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
