Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
