Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
