Your dad touched me again.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
