I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
