she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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