I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
