great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
