I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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