Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
