He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
