You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize