Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
