he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My penis needs a shock collar
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
