So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
