Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
