And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
