It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
