white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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