By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
