So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The Olympian is in my bed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
