I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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