Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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