you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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