O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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