butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
