i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
