either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
