My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
