taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
