"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
