We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
