I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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