we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
