I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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