Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
