I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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