I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So many bounce houses so little time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
