got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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