Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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