you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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