We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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